First Post Or What?

Mmmm, would you believe me if I told you that I’ve had this website for over a year and didn’t do anything or write a single word? I don’t have any explanation for this, just like I don’t have any explanations for days I can’t keep track of. I mean if you asked me today’s date, I probably wouldn’t be able to recall, and the significance of the time passed wouldn’t dawn on me. It’s like I’m just passing through life on the surface level, between two sheets of wind (does that even make sense though?), I pass through, my existence doesn’t probably amount to an atom even.

Still, time passes on, I go to sleep at night and wake up the next morning in a routine and do some things on between, often passive.

About those things I do, I’m mostly either watching or reading, I finished Reply 1988 at one stretch, the idea of watching a 20 episode show with 1.5hr of average episode length was somewhat off putting but somehow I found myself watching 4-5 episodes at one sitting to the point my yes and head started hurting bad but I enjoyed the show as a wave of childhood nostalgia hit me. I never had a fixed circle of friends growing up as I grew up all over the country, moving every year or even moving twice/thrice a year was normal. As a result I always had to struggle to make friends being “the new girl in town” who wasn’t very welcome everywhere at first. I wanted friends and acceptance more than anything was always trying too hard to fit in to meet others’ expectations. Funny enough, now that I’m a grown adult, I avoid people with intention, putting my peace and solitude over everyone and everything else. Being a people pleaser doesn’t end into anything nice, the earlier you can comprehend this, the better.

[ great trio from Reply 1988 ]

[ this relationship development was so heart warming in Reply 1988 ]

Anyway, back to Reply 1988, it was very satisfying and my top k-drama along with When Life Gives You Tangerines. Both of them depict real life from different angles. When you come across things you can relate to at a personal level, they stay very close to your heart.

[ When Life Gives You Tangerines in a single picture ]

I also finished reading The wind-up bird chronicles by Haruki Murakami, he’s my favorite writer but it was super hard to finish the book. I got the physical copy from Gibert Joseph when I first moved to Paris, first book I bought in Paris technically so it always had a special attention to me. I already had too many in my to-read list including his other works so took me years to finally pick up and finish the book but well, I am kinda disappointed, it didn’t make sense to me, it’s like two different stories going on in parallel but unable to connect despite multiple tries. Probably Japanese people can tell better if they indeed make sense, I can’t. I won’t pick it up again and it will take me some time to shake of the vivid depiction of skinning an alive human alive. I hope I get rid of it soon.

I should probably pick up The Break by Marian Keyes from where I left off. You can try her books if you like good humor. I also have another I was reading on the phone. And I opened Convenience Store Woman by Sayaka Murata on kindle. I read the lines before and I…..may have a problem with how I read or watch multiple things in parallel. I’m rewatching Maison Ikkoku and Ranma ½ anime. I’m having a hard time with Natsuyuki Rendezvous, I like the melancholy vibe of it but I think they could’ve turned it into a movie instead of a series. Also have squeezed a couple of movies like April story and Little forest series in between ( see the pattern hu? ). My attention span sucks ngl.

[ April Story has beautiful visuals ]

Nothing else has been happening, it still takes me a long time to wake up wake up in the morning (or noon). I take the minimum of steps outside my room and struggle hard to do things for 5 hrs that should normally take me 20 mins max. Something needs to change.